Today my Heart was Broken
two years.. its been that long huh?
in the two long years, iv slowly healed.. eventually stopped cryin.. was able to smile again.. learned to forget all the hurt.. decided to suck it all up.. accepted the fact that there’s no other choice but to move on.. the world wouldnt stop revolving whether i like it or not even if im depressed.. who cares anyway right?
recuperating.. iv been pretty much accustomed to livin alone once again.. i have to.. there’s no other way of doing things anyhow..
pretty much at my new comfort zone when you came & burst my bubble.. after all this time iv finly felt happy juz talkin to someone again, whether about life, jokes, intellectual or stupid lil things..
iv once again felt significant.. felt that existing mattered at all.. appreciated & cared about..
the simple greetings, messages, texts, compliments made all the difference
didnt know id feel this good again.. after goin thru somethin painfully hardcore.. bein able to experience this was invigorating.. like a breath of fresh air..
juz when i feel the connection & juz when i feel like im in cloud 9.. i have to hit rock bottom again..
i had to remind myself that i dont live in a perfect world & im livin in it with imperfect people juz like me.. that i cant have things my way all the time.. that life is rude.. people are insensitive & selfish.. that nobody really cares about other’s happiness except theirs.. that men takes advantage.. that you believe LIES to learn urself a lesson that U cannot Trust anybody but URSELF so might as well be selfish as well.. that sounds FAIR enough!
Yes i am Hurt, i know i dont have any right but thats what sucks in bein Human, you sometimes cannot dictate emotions resulting from actions or circumstances.. these are those times when i feel like i can never trust my Guts.. when i wanna see a Genie this instance & ask him to make me a heart of stone because im too paranoid that everybody is out to Hurt me & make my life miserable..
but at the end of the day, i realized, do i really need this in my life? like right now? to be honest, i dont know.. maybe i do.. maybe i dont.. i realized that im not loosin anythin, they juz dunno what they’re missin.. that there are far more people broken hearted than i am.. in a way more bad situation than im in & this is not the right time to sour grape..
for one minute, i juz wanna stop thinkin about it & be numb.. after ranting about this, il be back to my Loner Self in my own world.. where i couldnt care less & will try to focus on setting more productive goals for 2011.. Travel with Friends & Spend more time with my Amazing Family & all those people who truly matters..
im sleepin tonight hoping tomorrow i wont have to feel the pain anymore.. improve on myself & dont be entrapped by a Crap of BullSh.t
Love myself more & be happier thinkin that if i let myself in that position my life might even Suck right now..
Lesson Learned : only proves that im not a princess who lives in a fairy tale of happy endings.. Hello dEz! This is Reality.. & it juz Hurts more… :’(
two years.. its been that long huh?
in the two long years, iv slowly healed.. eventually stopped cryin.. was able to smile again.. learned to forget all the hurt.. decided to suck it all up.. accepted the fact that there’s no other choice but to move on.. the world wouldnt stop revolving whether i like it or not even if im depressed.. who cares anyway right?
recuperating.. iv been pretty much accustomed to livin alone once again.. i have to.. there’s no other way of doing things anyhow..
pretty much at my new comfort zone when you came & burst my bubble.. after all this time iv finly felt happy juz talkin to someone again, whether about life, jokes, intellectual or stupid lil things..
iv once again felt significant.. felt that existing mattered at all.. appreciated & cared about..
the simple greetings, messages, texts, compliments made all the difference
didnt know id feel this good again.. after goin thru somethin painfully hardcore.. bein able to experience this was invigorating.. like a breath of fresh air..
juz when i feel the connection & juz when i feel like im in cloud 9.. i have to hit rock bottom again..
i had to remind myself that i dont live in a perfect world & im livin in it with imperfect people juz like me.. that i cant have things my way all the time.. that life is rude.. people are insensitive & selfish.. that nobody really cares about other’s happiness except theirs.. that men takes advantage.. that you believe LIES to learn urself a lesson that U cannot Trust anybody but URSELF so might as well be selfish as well.. that sounds FAIR enough!
Yes i am Hurt, i know i dont have any right but thats what sucks in bein Human, you sometimes cannot dictate emotions resulting from actions or circumstances.. these are those times when i feel like i can never trust my Guts.. when i wanna see a Genie this instance & ask him to make me a heart of stone because im too paranoid that everybody is out to Hurt me & make my life miserable..
but at the end of the day, i realized, do i really need this in my life? like right now? to be honest, i dont know.. maybe i do.. maybe i dont.. i realized that im not loosin anythin, they juz dunno what they’re missin.. that there are far more people broken hearted than i am.. in a way more bad situation than im in & this is not the right time to sour grape..
for one minute, i juz wanna stop thinkin about it & be numb.. after ranting about this, il be back to my Loner Self in my own world.. where i couldnt care less & will try to focus on setting more productive goals for 2011.. Travel with Friends & Spend more time with my Amazing Family & all those people who truly matters..
im sleepin tonight hoping tomorrow i wont have to feel the pain anymore.. improve on myself & dont be entrapped by a Crap of BullSh.t
Love myself more & be happier thinkin that if i let myself in that position my life might even Suck right now..
Lesson Learned : only proves that im not a princess who lives in a fairy tale of happy endings.. Hello dEz! This is Reality.. & it juz Hurts more… :’(
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